My Girls

It is natural for us to like the stories that have elements we can relate to more. Since I am a female myself, it is easier for me to find elements I can relate to in a story if it is either built around leading female characters or has very substantial supporting female characters. Therefore, I have a special interest in series that focus mainly on females: Xena, Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, The L Word, Orange is the New Black …

When Girls started in 2012, because of this interest, I was super excited to have a new series with four female leads to follow. However, watching the first two episodes was a total fiasco for me. None of the characters were relatable even though their ages were close to mine. They were too immature and selfish to the point of being obnoxious. I don’t mean that my friends and I act like maester Aemon from Game of Thrones. Something just didn’t feel right. Maybe this is due to not being an American or the writers exaggerating the behavior of the characters in the series for the sake of comedy, which happens very frequently in TV series.

To sum up, our first couple dates with Girls didn’t go so well, I decided to split after that. It wasn’t love at first sight like Mad Men, or wasn’t like meeting one of your best friends like Six Feet Under, or didn’t feel like adopting a new religion like Gilmore Girls. (Some of you might be thinking I should be institutionalized for writing that last sentence, but this is who I am. I live through books, movies, and series.)

It was around the time of its second season premiere my Illegitimate Daughter encouraged me to give Girls a second chance. So I did. This time I was more determined to go forward even if I can’t relate to it, and it payed off. All I had to do was to be patient till the end of the third episode.

The ending scene of Girls’ third episode is one of my favorite scenes from a TV series ever and it is the one that attached me forever to this series. In the scene Marnie returns home from an awkward encounter with the guy she is falling for to find Hannah dancing in her room to Dancing on my Own. Hannah reveals that she learned her ex-boyfriend was gay. Then, they start dancing together. The scene (and the episode) ends with Hannah and Marnie hugging. 

This scene sent me right back to my college days in Istanbul where I was sharing a dorm-room with Illegitimate Daughter. After the episode ended, I wrote to her immediately something along the lines of “this is our scene”.

You don’t think about that person you share most of your life with as you live through your college days. You are used to her being there when you come back to your room after a very tiring day, and spending quality time with her naturally without putting much effort. What worries you mostly is your classes, future goals, getting the best of this magnificent city that you live in, the boy you wake up next to from time to time … But today what really remains from all that beautiful mess to you is that girl you shared your room with. She is the one you still talk to almost every day. You remember her wedding day as one of the happiest days of your life. You realize now that she was actually the best thing you had in those college days.

If life has been generous with you like it has been with me, you will have several more girls like that. One will be the person that you share some of your lowest moments during your PhD days, and she will still love you and help you keep going. Another one will be the most fruitful outcome of a summer internship and feed your fearless side. You will reconnect with one more strongly years later after life temporarily throws you in different directions. Seeing an email from one first thing in the morning will make your day. Some will be the only ones you would like to see during a work related event full of men when you are having your period. Some you will know that are always there even if you don’t talk that often.

In the following years (and seasons) Girls did the same thing for me over and over. I still don’t relate to the characters themselves much. However, when it comes to the dynamics of female friendship, Girls reflects it very well and smartly. With each season, I loved the show more and more. Now we have come to its end (the final season starts airing this Sunday). Even though we had a shaky start, now watching it feels like having a girl’s night out with my girls. And I will miss it.