Public Restrooms, Boycotting, and Why I Cannot Like Bono

First, a short paragraph on my opinion on public restrooms.

I rarely hesitate to use men’s restroom when the ladies’ restroom is full and men’s is empty. I personally don’t find the restroom separation based on gender meaningful. If you would like to build urinals for faster processing, I understand that separating them from the rest of the toilets makes sense. However, in restaurants having two restrooms with the same toilets and marking them for different gender doesn’t make sense to me.

Which brings me to boycotting North Carolina due to its bathroom bill.

One of the premier conferences in my field of research, SIGMOD/PODS, was supposed to be in North Carolina this year. On January 16th, the Executive Committee of SIGMOD/PODS decided to move this year’s conference elsewhere in order to be in line with various boycotts against North Carolina for not repealing the law that forces people to use the restroom that corresponds to the gender on their birth certificate.

I had a bitter-sweet feeling when I read this news. On the one hand, it is wonderful to see a vast collective action taken by many to support diversity and the rights of the LGBTQ community. On the other hand, (1) I am not sure if we are the right community to advocate for diversity when we are failing at it ourselves (but this is not the point of this post), and (2) I come from a land who endured some boycotts and I remember hating them even if I supported the causes.

I am not a big fan of cultural boycotts (boycotts by academics, writers, artists …) against a country or state in the form of not visiting that country or state. I think the people you hurt through such boycotts are mainly the people who actually think like you. People who do not think like you usually don’t give a shit. How do we even know that majority of the people in North Carolina support this bill? Why are we condemning all of them for an action their government took? And do the people who support this bill actually care about us not visiting their state? I understand that there are potential economic losses as part of such boycotts. However, in the case of SIGMOD/PODS, the venues we use for conferences usually belong to some corporation, which would benefit eventually even if we moved the conference to another location.

Which brings me to the topic why I cannot like Bono.

For years U2 did not give a concert in Turkey to protest the human rights violations in the country. Then, the band decided to give their first concert in Turkey in 2010 when our now-president was then the prime minister. Surely, Turkey wasn’t free of human rights violations in 2010, so I have no idea what changed Bono’s mind in 2010 and I don’t really care. This whole attitude of Bono not just against Turkey but also other countries (e.g., Serbia, …), is the main reason my favorite South Park episode is More Crap (Season 11 Episode 9), which claims that Bono has always been a "number 2".

I am not a U2 fan myself so I wouldn’t have minded if Bono had never visited Turkey. However, by not visiting Turkey for so long, the only people Bono really harmed was his own fans. Leaders with conservative or dictatorial tendencies do not really care if you boycott them. On the contrary, they benefit from it because you are hurting the same people they tend to hurt. You don’t contribute to the sounds of opposition in that land, instead leave them alone in their fight. Why didn’t Bono visit Turkey earlier and raise his concerns over human rights violations during a concert in Turkey? Why can’t we go to North Carolina and say that we will allow all the conference attendees to use the bathroom they prefer regardless of their gender?

The other issue I have with cultural boycotts is that how we decide when and why to boycott. I agree that as human beings, we cannot boycott everything as we cannot be activists for everything. However, I don’t understand why it is worth boycotting Turkey for its human rights violations or North Carolina for its bathroom bill and it is not worth boycotting USA and EU for their policies over countries in Middle East.

I am not stating these to sound like a smart-ass. I am asking you sincerely. These are issues I keep questioning myself as a person who has been looked down upon due to her Turkish passport on several occasions. I cannot find answers that really satisfy me. So, I would like you to question with me as well to maybe find better and more inclusive answers.