Note: On March 26 during EDBT 2024, we had a memorial event for our colleague Jorge, whom we lost suddenly in May last year. I gave a speech similar to the one below at that event.
Jorge joined our research group
at ITU in January 2023 as an associate professor together with his wife Zoi, and we had the
privilege of having him as a colleague for five months.
I knew Jorge’s brilliance through
his work, but I didn’t have a chance to collaborate with him or get to know him
as much as many of you did. I don’t have fun stories or memories of a research
collaboration to share.
Yet, in the brief time I got to
know him, he made a lasting impact on my life personally, and I want to talk
about that. What I have is a bit dark, and I practiced this speech many times
to make sure I don’t cry but it may happen, so just heads up.
Last year, Jorge’s loss wasn’t
the only loss I experienced. In a period of four months, I lost a grandmother,
an uncle, and an aunt.
The morning my uncle died, I
received the news from my dad on the phone. My uncle’s death wasn’t sudden,
unlike Jorge’s. He had cancer. I had been waiting for that call for a while. In
fact, as soon as I saw my dad calling, I knew what the news was.
I cried a bit after ending the
call with my dad. I had a lecture in a couple of hours. I went to work. I was
also supposed to have a guest lecture at the Introduction to Database Systems course
co-taught by Eleni and Jorge that semester the day after. It was kind of a
tradition that I gave a guest lecture on “intro to modern hardware” in that
course. But given the death of my uncle I wanted to go to Turkey to be with the
family. So, I had to tell Jorge and Eleni that I wouldn’t be able to give the guest
lecture anymore. We already had a plan b for this scenario since they knew of
my uncle’s situation. In fact, the week before, Jorge one day came to my office
and told me that I shouldn’t worry about the lecture given my situation, and we
could just play the video of the lecture I had given the year before. I told
him let’s keep the video option as backup still.
After I arrived at work that
morning, I went to check Jorge’s office. He was there. As I was delivering the
news to him, I started crying again. After I calmed down a bit, he said “I
don’t know your family, but I feel your pain. Can I give you a hug?”
Death news is hard to react to in
any context, but especially in a work environment. We are supposed to be
professional and not “too emotional” at least with most of the people we work
with if not all. Last year, as I had gone through the losses, I received
reactions from colleagues ranging from “OK. Jesus. I will leave you alone
then.” to “How can I help?” And I appreciate any gesture or reaction that
acknowledges the difficulty of the situation.
Jorge was my first in-person human
contact that morning after hearing the news of my uncle. The words and the hug
he offered were so simple yet full of empathy and generosity and exactly what I
needed to gather the strength to go through the tasks of the day like buy
tickets to Istanbul, email people that you won’t be around for some days, go to
your lecture … I will always be grateful to him for the support he gave me that
morning. I am really sorry that we lost him so young, and I wish I had had him
as a colleague way longer.
Yet I still feel lucky and
privileged because I have Zoi as a colleague, and I cherish her presence and
professional feedback at work. Observing her strength throughout all this has
been an inspiration. I look forward to working with her for many more years.
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