When I look back to my childhood, in all my greatest
memories there is Istanbul.
We lived in Zonguldak but both my mom and dad had studied in
Istanbul and my mom’s close family members were living there. Thus, we very
often visit Istanbul during various holidays.
For me a typical wonderful Istanbul day usually started
early in the morning because of my dad waking up so early. Then we had a nice
breakfast and went out to catch the bus 55T. 55T was my favorite bus when I was
a kid because it connected my grandma’s house to Istiklal Street.
The first thing to do in Istiklal Street was to go for a movie
for one of the matinees with my dad. Usually mom joined us after the first film
since she couldn’t stand seeing two films a day. Therefore, my dad and I picked
the morning movie among one of the cool horror films or weird independent
films.
The theater choice was also important. Our first choice was to
see a film in Emek Theater. I was in love with Emek. Coming from a small city
like Zonguldak, it was the most beautiful theater I had ever seen in my life.
With its carvings on the walls and ceilings, the smell of history inside, its big
white dog on the floor at the entrance, its irreplaceable staff that I have witnessed
getting older and older; it was just glamorous to me.
If we didn’t really like the film screened in Emek, we
checked the old small theaters, like Beyoglu Theater that had amazing paintings
on the walls and insisted on showing films that weren’t screened in most of the
big cinemas.
After the first film, the next stop was Mercan in Cicek
Pasaji. This was the place where my dad slowly taught me how to properly drink
and eat stuffed and fried mussels. To be honest, I initially hated both the mussels
and beer when I was a kid. It’s amazing to see that years later Mercan’s mussels
became the thing I craved for the most while doing my PhD in Lausanne.
After the mussels and before the next film, we stopped by
Inci, which is a small and cozy pastry where the most famous profiteroles in
Istanbul are prepared and for me the place that I ate the best profiteroles
ever.
After Inci, we saw a second film; this time a romantic one
or a drama since my mom was also with us. Then we took 55T back to my snow
white grandma.
Later when I had to pick a college for my bachelor’s, of
course, I had no other choices than colleges in Istanbul.
Whenever my parents came for a visit, we kept our routine
with slight differences like one move instead of two or skipping either Mercan
or Inci. We added more people to our routine from friends and family and
enjoyed this routine more and more.
I kept finding myself in small theaters like Beyoglu
whenever I felt depressed or had a problem; most of the time being the only one
in the theater. They were the perfect hiding places for me; made me felt like I
was at a safe place, I had peace, I was with family, I was home.
Among all the festival films I watched during college, the
ones shown in Emek gave me a more distinct joy and happiness.
Often times I preferred eating a profiterole at Inci instead
of eating a proper meal when I was in Istiklal Street.
Now I am in grad school in Lausanne and this routine is
always the most important thing in my TODO list when I visit home, which is
completely Istanbul now since my parents also live there.
During my first year I managed to perform this routine
completely.
During my second year, Emek Theater was closed.
During my third year, Beyoglu Theater was decided to be
closed.
Now I am in my fourth year and Inci Pastry is closing down.
You don’t always destroy one’s home by using dangerous
weapons or big machinery in one shot. You can destroy it very slowly and
painfully over the years; by cutting the ropes that give the real idea of attachment,
belonging, and hence home one by one.
I didn’t decide to do my PhD abroad to leave home. I came
here to eventually come back home as a more resourceful individual. However,
people who are somehow chosen to represent me by people other than me are
crashing down not just my home but also other homes, passion of many, and
soul and history of Istanbul by destroying various landmarks.
And I cannot do anything against it.
We cannot do anything against it.
Please tell me to which home I am going to be back to in a couple of years or later?
Please tell me to which home I am going to be back to in a couple of years or later?
